you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
