We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
