I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
