if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
