we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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