What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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