Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
