Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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