He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
