I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
