Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
