STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
