Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
