i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
