I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
