i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
