so that wasnt chicken after all
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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