Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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