We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
