it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
it was like eating out sand paper
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
