alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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