weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
