I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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