broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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