Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
