cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
