So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
