If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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