Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
