I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
