He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I AM VODKA MAN
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
