If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
