just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
