I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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