Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
