I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
