ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
