your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
