So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
