Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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