It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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