What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
