I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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