Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
