The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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