She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
