"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
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