WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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