When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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