I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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