just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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