I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
